


My Monsters Are Real

by AgentCatt



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Panic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 06:12:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17523389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentCatt/pseuds/AgentCatt
Summary: Locus hasn't been getting decent sleep due to not really sleeping thanks to the nightmares. His partners catch on, but didn't know it was that bad.





	My Monsters Are Real

There’s two bedrooms in the apartment for a reason. Locus and Wash both agreed that’s for the best. For those nights where being in the same bed was too much for them. A pretty normal thing for them to do, until Shark arrived. Almost no sleeping completely alone at the same time. It has to be a trade off since Shark always wants to be around one of his partners. 

Locus doesn’t let himself sleep when he sleeps with the other two. He might doze off, but those nights, there’s no actual sleep. Nothing restful. He’s more so afraid to than anything.

There’s nothing seen wrong with him by his partners that he knows of. They assume he wakes up early just because he’s out of bed before them and always has been. They don’t know he stays up most nights to be up that early.

He just can’t sleep. Ever since he got out of the army. The nightmares. Surrounded by death and explosions. If he has one, he wakes up smelling the sweat and blood. Feeling the pain of losing everyone around him.

Then if he’s not dreaming about the army, it’s about his partners. Watching them die in various ways from the very same person. Felix. Not being strong enough to save them. Seeing their smiles fade. That horror on their faces. 

Not strong enough. He’s never strong enough.

So, he’s up most nights. It’s slowly getting to him. He’s not doing as well. He’s cooking more simple things. Almost burning a couple of things. He’s working half days a lot. Just plain exhausted. 

His partners are starting to notice, but he doesn’t realize that. His movements are slowed. He’s spacing off more than usual. Something’s clearly not right. They decide that they’ll ask him at dinner when he can’t just run away from their questions so easily.

Shark helps plate everyone’s food while Wash finishes setting the table. Locus looks at them confused. They help, but not unless they want something or he asks if they’ll help. So, this seems a bit out of place. He lets them do it anyways.

It’s not until about halfway through dinner that they speak up.

“Hey Locs, you doing okay?” Wash asks.

“I’m fine. What do you mean?” 

“Well, you don’t seem okay,” Shark frowns. “We’ve noticed that you’re not yourself lately.”

Locus tilts his head and looks at them. He realizes they haven’t really figured it out, but noticed he’s off.

“You almost burnt dinner. That’s what Shark and I do and why the two of us don’t cook,” Wash points out.

Locus looks down at the food and notices some darker parts where it was starting to burn. He frowns. This isn’t good.

“So we just want to know if you’re okay? Anyone I need to beat up for you?!” Shark half smiles. 

Locus sighs, “No. I’m just not sleeping well. I’m fine.”

“Anything we can do to help? Need anything?” Wash asks. 

“Not that I know of.”

They let it go for the remainder of the meal. Not really knowing what to do about this. They’ll think of something by the time they go to bed.

 

By the time they decide it’s time to head to bed, they manage to convince Locus to join them. He’s very hesitant about it. But, he’s snuggling Wash like usual. He closes his eyes like he’ll sleep even though he’s not. Shark is pulling the all nighter with him. Pretending to sleep. It’s his job to make sure Locus stays in bed at the very least.

Locus tries to get out of bed about two hours later when he thinks both of them are deep asleep. Shark quietly tells him to get back into bed. Locus growls to himself and lays back down. Knowing Shark is awake, Locus forces himself to just lay there. He’s so exhausted to the point he accidentally falls asleep and doesn’t wake back up.

 

\-----

_ When Locus comes to, he sees Shark bloodied, on his knees by Wash. Wash is naked, tied up. Felix shows up. He’s smirking. Locus can’t move. He feels like he’s being held down by a ton of bricks. Can’t even move his head. Forced to look at his partners. _

_ “You always try to outsmart me, but you never can,” Felix tells Locus. _

_ “Fuck off,” Shark speaks up. _

_ “How about you shut up for good since your partner there has finally come to?” _

_ Felix walks over to him. He pulls a knife out of his pocket. He grabs Shark’s hair, exposing his neck. He cuts his throat. Locus can hear him choking on his own blood until there’s silence. Wash screaming no. Telling Locus he’s supposed to save them. Protect them. But he can’t move. Can’t say anything. Just watch. _

_ “That’s a lot better, now isn’t it?” Felix cleans off his knife and puts it back in his pocket. _

_ “Now where was I?” Felix turns to Locus. “That’s right. You are such a disappointment Locs. You think you can fight me and win? You’ve never been able to outsmart me.” _

_ Locus desperately wants to save Wash. He’d give his life to be able to save him from anymore harm. But he can’t. He can’t even talk back. Just kneel there. He watches Felix move behind Wash.  _

_ “You two never escaped from me. I just let you think you did and now neither of you are going to leave here alive.” _

_ Locus watches Felix have his way from Wash. The very thing he kept saving Wash from before. Finally seeing just how bad it is. Hurting him. Using him. Making his last moments the worst he’s ever felt before cutting his throat. _

_ He walks over to Locus, “You could never save them. Don’t fight me Locus.” _

\------

 

Locus wakes up gasping for air. Sweating. Panicking. Smelling the blood of his partners. He jumps out of bed, putting his back against the wall.

_ It was just a nightmare. _

He slides down onto the floor. Afraid, confused, wanting it all to just stop. This can’t keep going on. But he doesn’t know what to do.

_ Not strong enough. _

“Locus?” Wash calls to him. “Can you hear me?” 

Locus looks at him. Alive. He sees Shark there too. His nightmares usually aren’t this strong. It took him longer to realize it was all just a dream.

“You okay?” Shark asks.

Both of them move closer to him when he nods. He pulls both of them in for a hug. Holding onto them tightly. Not wanting to let go.

_ You can’t protect them. _

“I won’t let anyone hurt you two,” Locus whispers. “I promise.”


End file.
